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Getting Through the Holidays After Divorce

The holiday season is especially tough on divorced families. Family traditions are disrupted, decisions regarding how to best accommodate children must be made, and feelings can get hurt.

It is not uncommon to forget the specifics of a divorce agreement regarding the holidays until they arrive. Anyone wanting to get through the holidays after divorce should start by reading their divorce decree and child custody agreement.

Getting Through the Holidays Mentally

The holidays are a busy time for most people. For new divorcees, getting involved in the many holiday activities taking place can be a good way to get through the season mentally. Keeping the mind active can reduce much of the stress that is related to the combination of the holiday season and divorce. This strategy is especially helpful for anyone forced to spend the holidays apart from their children.

Getting Through the Holidays Emotionally

Emotions might run high during the first holiday season after a divorce. Depression rates increase during the holiday season – an indicator of just how stressful this time of year can be. Add a recent divorce and a tough child-custody ruling and Thanksgiving and Christmas become very tough to get through.

Surrounding oneself with loved ones is a good way to get through. Haven’t seen a sister in years? Now might be a good time to visit.

Helping Children Adapt to New Traditions

As divorcees forge new traditions during post-divorce holidays, children may need help adjusting. Understand that while children are malleable, they are just as aversive to change as anyone.

Tell children what is happening. If they are young, keep explanations simple, but help them understand that the changes already happening will continue for a time, especially during holidays. Remind them that things will be different.

Teens too will have a hard time adjusting. They need infinite patience and maybe some space, but they will adjust if helped along by parents who care.

Cherry Hill Divorce Lawyers at the Law Offices of Richard C. Klein, P.A. Assist Clients Struggling Through Divorce

Divorce during the holidays is not easy. It is in your best interest to work with a Cherry Hill divorce attorney if you find yourself needing legal help during the holidays. Complete our or online contact form or call 856-544-9155 to schedule your initial consultation at the the Law Offices of Richard C. Klein. We are located in Marlton, New Jersey, and work with clients from Mount Laurel, Moorestown, Cherry Hill, and Medford, Marlton, Voorhees, Haddonfield and throughout the state of New Jersey.

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The Surprising Reasons Why a Child Has Difficulty Visiting Their Other Parent

parenting timeDivorce can be difficult for children to process. No matter the age of the children, they hav grown accustomed to a two-parent household and  expect things to remain that way. The separation of parents may be hard on children, both mentally and emotionally. These children are not used to shuffling back and forth between households or splitting time between parents.

As a parent, you will do everything you can to make the transition easier, but sometimes things are beyond your control. A child may have a hard time letting go and outright refuse to see their other parent. This puts the you in a precarious position as the custodial parent. You do not want to disrupt your child’s time with their other parent but you do want to ensure that there is nothing wrong.

Typically, visitation is dependent on a court order. Couples may agree to joint or partial custody agreements. When a court order is in place, it is usually mandatory for a child to visit the parent at that appointed time. Of course, if parental parties have an amicable relationship, they may be flexible with the custody agreement. However, some structure is important to avoid confusing the child.

The Adjustment Phase

If the child knows when they are scheduled to visit the other parent and there is still pushback, you may want to delve deeper into the problem.

Children notice body language cues much easier than most people realize. Their anxiety regarding leaving with the other parent may be a projection of what you are feeling. If your child notices that you are sad or anxious every time they leave, they may become uncomfortable. Children do not like seeing their parents upset and the child may feel like they are upsetting you every time they leave with the other parent. In response to this perceived slight, they will begin to pull away from the other parent and get upset when you expect them to leave.

Another reason for your child’s behavior can also be a response to the custody agreement. The child could be having a very difficult time splitting time between two parents. They are used to spending time with both parents in the same house. This new experience is tough for them and they may act out in the hopes that you two will try to spend time with each other.

One of the biggest reasons for a child’s discomfort also has to do with adapting to change. They may not feel comfortable going to a new home with the other parent. Moving is dfficult for children and they feel like they are moving every time they go over to the other parent’s home. They must pack a bag, use a bathroom they are not familiar with, travel to another area, and these things may all trigger separation anxiety.

The best way to deal with the child’s discomfort is to seek the help of a therapist and an experience divorce lawyer. The therapist will help the child work through their issues and the lawyer will help you draft a custody agreement that works for all three of you.

Cherry Hill Divorce Lawyers at the Law Offices of Richard C. Klein, P.A. Provide Support When Dealing with Child Custody Issues

If your child is having trouble with the current custody agreement, do not hesitate to call the Law Office of Richard C. Klein to schedule your consultation with an experienced and highly skilled Cherry Hill divorce attorney by calling (856) 544-9155 or contact us online. Our office is located in Marlton, New Jersey, allowing us to serve clients throughout South Jersey.

 

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Make Summer Co-Parenting a Breeze

Summer is a time of endless fun and freedom for your kids, but can sometimes mean more frustration and stress for couples going through a separation or divorce.

Parents will face a myriad of new challenges such as agreeing on how to divide parenting time, deciding on schools-out child custody arrangements, divvying up the bill for summer camps, and learning how to successfully co-parent to eliminate the tension and stress that goes in hand with a divorce.

Children of divorcees will also be navigating a challenging time and learning how to cope with their parents’ separation and their newly divided schedules. They will undergo a series of new emotions: anxiety from the divorce and fear of not spending enough time with the non-custodial parent. They may experience sadness because they miss the other parent’s constant presence, or feel resentment. If a new potential step-parent is introduced into the equation, the child will need to learn to adapt, which can be scary.

Balancing time with your kids over summer break can be challenging with the boundless activities that arise during the season.

Here are several tips to make summer co-parenting a breeze:

Be flexible: Summer is a busy time for both parent and child, especially in a single parent household. If last minute arrangements need to be made, or the co-parent wants to take your child out of the country to travel, try to work out an agreement with them. Have rational conversations about the fears and concerns present. Successful coparenting involves heavy compromising and sometimes deviating from the agreed upon custody schedule.

Put the children’s best interest first: Seek their input for summer activities and whom they want to spend their time with. Last minute sleepovers or events might come up and could cut into your scheduled custody and quality time with them. Everyone will have a little less time with each other after a divorce. Do not let your child resent you for controlling all their time without consulting them.

Discuss summer expenses: The expenses could be shared equally by both parties, or it could be decided that a child support agreement covers it. Be realistic. If one parent is footing most of the day-to-day childcare expenses, then it is fair for the co-parent to incur more of the summer costs.

Notify the child’s other parent about vacations: This eliminates last minute scheduling and allows both parents and their children to have the stress-free time off they deserve.

If you are looking for an advocate to give you the best solution for child custody agreements in New Jersey, contact us. Let our child support and custody lawyers help keep you and your children’s summers memorable. Call (856) 988-5470 now to schedule a consultation.